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What NOT To Do During a Divorce (both legally and personally)

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Divorce is one of life’s most challenging experiences, both emotionally and legally. Navigating the process can feel overwhelming, especially when it comes to avoiding common mistakes that could cause unnecessary complications. To help guide you, here’s a clear breakdown of what not to do during a divorce.

Whether you’re starting the process, in the midst of it, or nearing a resolution, knowing these pitfalls can save you from additional stress and setbacks.

1. Don’t Make Emotional Decisions

It’s natural to feel hurt, angry, or overwhelmed during a divorce. However, letting emotions guide your decisions can lead to costly mistakes. Avoid actions driven solely by impulse or spite, such as:

  • Withholding important documents out of anger.
  • Rushing to sell shared property to “get even.”
  • Choosing to contest everything out of principle rather than practicality.

Why It Matters: Emotional decisions rarely serve your long-term interests. Take time to consult with a divorce attorney or trusted friend before making significant choices.

2. Don’t Ignore Legal Advice

A divorce attorney is your ally, offering guidance to protect your rights and advocate for your interests. Ignoring their advice or deciding to “handle things on your own” can backfire. This includes:

  • Attempting to negotiate directly with your spouse without understanding your rights.
  • Making verbal agreements that could be unenforceable in court.
  • Withholding information or failing to provide necessary documentation.

Why It Matters: A professional ensures your case is handled correctly and that decisions align with legal procedures. Trust their expertise and communicate openly about your concerns.

3. Don’t Hide Assets or Lie About Finances

Transparency is critical during divorce proceedings, especially when it comes to financial matters. Hiding assets, underreporting income, or transferring money to others to conceal it from your spouse may seem tempting, but it is one of the biggest mistakes you can make. Examples include:

  • Failing to disclose bank accounts, investments, or property.
  • Moving funds to a family member’s account to avoid division.
  • Undervaluing personal items or shared assets.

Why It Matters: Courts take financial dishonesty very seriously. Hiding assets can lead to legal penalties, loss of credibility, and an adverse judgment that significantly impacts your future.

4. Don’t Use Social Media Recklessly

Social media can be a minefield during a divorce. Sharing too much, venting publicly, or posting questionable content could be used against you. Some common missteps include:

  • Posting about a new relationship.
  • Sharing lavish purchases or vacations during financial disputes.
  • Making negative or inflammatory comments about your spouse.

Why It Matters: Your online activity is traceable and may be presented in court as evidence. To avoid unnecessary complications, keep your social media use minimal and professional.

5. Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse (Especially in Front of Children)

It’s easy to give in to frustration, but speaking poorly about your spouse can have serious consequences. This is especially important if you have children. Avoid:

  • Making negative remarks about your spouse to friends, family, or on public platforms.
  • Speaking ill of your spouse in front of your children, even indirectly.

Why It Matters: Courts prioritize the best interest of children during custody decisions. Negative comments can impact future co-parenting and even influence custody arrangements. Children should never feel caught in the middle of adult conflicts.

6. Don’t Neglect Your Finances

Divorce has significant financial implications, and neglecting money matters can lead to long-term difficulties. Common financial mistakes include:

  • Overspending or taking on unnecessary debt during the process.
  • Failing to create a post-divorce budget.
  • Ignoring outstanding debts or joint accounts, assuming your spouse will handle them.

Why It Matters: Divorce separates not just your lives but your finances. Planning ahead ensures you have the financial stability to move forward.

7. Don’t Rush the Process

Divorce can feel like a waiting game, but rushing to get it “over with” often leads to compromised outcomes. Resist the urge to skip steps like:

  • Agreeing to unfair terms just to avoid conflict.
  • Forgoing legal counsel in exchange for a quicker resolution.

Why It Matters: Divorce is a significant life adjustment. Taking time to thoroughly resolve legal and personal matters sets a stronger foundation for your future.

8. Don’t Violate Court Orders

If there are temporary court orders in place, such as child custody arrangements or restraining orders, follow them diligently. Violations like missing visitation times or ignoring payment requirements can result in serious legal consequences.

Why It Matters: Disregarding orders can damage your case and lead to additional legal actions, fines, or unfavorable judgments.

9. Don’t Isolate Yourself

Divorce can feel lonely at times, but isolating yourself is not the answer. Avoid withdrawing from your support network or trying to manage everything on your own.

Why It Matters: Emotional support helps you stay grounded and make better decisions. Consider talking to friends, family, or even a therapist who can provide perspective and encouragement.

10. Don’t Forget About Self-Care

Lastly, don’t neglect your mental and physical health during this challenging time. Over-scheduling meetings, skipping meals, or ignoring stress-reducing activities can take a toll. Common oversights include:

  • Failing to prioritize rest and exercise.
  • Ignoring stress-management techniques like mindfulness or therapy.
  • Losing sight of personal goals and aspirations.

Why It Matters: Staying healthy ensures you have the energy and emotional resilience to handle the divorce process effectively.

Divorce Lawyers in Colorado Springs Ready to Help

Divorce is never easy, but avoiding these mistakes can help you emerge stronger and more prepared for this new chapter. Remember, every decision you make during this process impacts your future. Approach it thoughtfully, consult with trusted professionals, and focus on your emotional well-being.

For personalized guidance through your divorce in Colorado, consult an experienced divorce attorney from The Gasper Law Group. For over 20 years, we have successfully handled countless divorce cases in Colorado Springs. We can protect your rights and interests while navigating this chapter of your life.

When you're ready to ask for help and move forward with your life, contact us at (719) 212-2448 to schedule a free initial consultation.

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